By Eli Hastings
A deeply own rumination at the existential motives for the desperation and unhappiness skilled by way of these struggling with dependancy and psychological affliction, this nuanced memoir brings to existence the bothered, decade-long dating among Eli Hastings and his buddy Serala. At kinfolk occasions, Serala wore saris and ate delicately from plates of curry. yet in different places, she wore a lip ring, dressmaker colours, and a cowboy hat; would continually drink frat boys below the desk; might sleep under 5 hours every week; and might position herself in harmful occasions for one more bag of heroin. Serala’s advanced personality and probably haphazard offerings are made actual, from ill-advised quests for narcotics in Mexican border cities to unplanned 50-hour highway journeys from L.A. to long island urban. even supposing her darkish and worrying trip concluded tragically at age 27, Eli Hastings writes with hopeful solution approximately his particular friendship.
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Additional info for Clearly Now, the Rain: A Memoir of Love and Other Trips
I have ‘friends’ of varying degrees (different levels of friendship from slightly superficial to full-on intimate) all around the world. The problem is that I can’t just ‘pop’ in and have a cup of tea with them when they might live in a different country to me. I can usually keep in touch via email, and this is truly a great medium for me, but there are times when I would like to see and spend time with them in person. I take what time I can access and always appreciate their making the time for me too.
I didn’t feel very confident, but I chose to act as if I were. This is a case of ‘you have to fake it to make it’. The right kind of ‘unconditional love’ lets the loved one be themselves and does not try to change them. It hopes for the best for that friend and finds value and appreciation in the smallest of things that they do. It hardly notices faults and flaws, but seeks only to encourage and honour the individual or person. This is the kind of love I want to receive and the kind of love I want to give.
It was often noisy, cluttered and confusing. I wanted to have a 32 FRIENDSHIPS friend but didn’t know how to go about it. Academic study was hard enough to keep up with let alone the pursuit of friendship. I also wasn’t very good at choosing likely candidates that I could trust and count on. Of course, each of us is allowed to ‘want’ to have a friend and allowed to not want to have a friend. But, even if we choose not to have a particular friend, we will still need to show ourselves to be friendly.